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Wanna trade some underwear? Because...

6/1/2014

4 Comments

 
Picture
…we’re here if you need, like, twenty-five bucks to help with financing your next clothes-swapping venture. It won’t be our first time.

What happened was this: Kiva.org has recently been knocking on our e-door, wanting to know if we’ll chip in a few dollars for a new next micro-loan. We’d ignored their requests for a few weeks but, with the new novel in good shape, we decided to catch up with a few of our past obligations.  When it came to K.org., we were feeling a little punchy as we went through their list of candidates. We decided we’d choose our next worthy recipient by (a) their story, as presented by Kiva, and (b) the outside temperature in their part of the word. Since it’s been a little hot here, we wanted to help fund someone who was sweating as much as we were.

Finding someone who met criteria #2 was more time-consuming than you might have imagined but, at the Turner house, we’re willing to take the time to get things right. Besides, there’s just nothing on t.v. these days.

Today –you’re reading this on June 1st,  right? – the temp in our little town is hitting 90 degrees Fahrenheit (or 32.2222 Celsius, if you want to go all Rest-of-the-World on us), if WeatherBug can be believed. Coincidentally, in the little village of Azatamut, Armenia, it’s expected to top out at 88 degrees Fahrenheit (or 31.1111 Celsius, if you reside in Armenia but can’t be bothered to go outside and check), but it’s a tad more humid there so, overall, we feel we’ve found our winner. Her name is Gayane.

It’s Gayane’s picture you’ll see in the upper left corner. In our Azatamut research, we discovered more than just the day’s temperature. We’ve learned that less than 2,000 people live in the village; there are no houses for sale there and we couldn’t find any apartments to rent, either; a Big Mac will cost a villager a fast $3.61 (or $2.64 Euro); and the village rests in the province of Tavush. Tavush sounds heavenly, with crystal springs and gorgeous lakes and mountains and mountains of virgin woods. While a resident may occasionally step over a discarded McDonald’s burger wrapper, it’s nearly idyllic.

It is in this modern Eden that, per Kiva, Gayane “rents a small store where she has been trading woman's clothing and underwear for a year.” We don’t have any idea how an underwear swap is profitable – volume! – or how you first approach your friends and neighbors with the idea, but we absolutely admire Gayane for thinking outside of the box. Because, admit it, you know you weren't coming up with this fresh, new concept.

And how is your day going?

Reading: Amped by Rob Lopez. Rob has taken some long strides with his writing and we're impressed. This story is a great start to his X-Troop series and, at 99-cents, how can you lose? But, Rob, man, each chapter averages less than five pages. (The good news? There’s 11 chapters!) That’s very James Patterson of you.

Watching: Tonight, we’re trying Felicia Day and The Guild, because Felicia Day makes Supernatural a little bit better so this might be good, too. Plus, Netflix has six seasons of the show available so, if we enjoy it, we can cut back on watching the Armenian Weather Channel.



4 Comments
Rob Lopez link
6/7/2014 11:30:40 pm

James Patterson? Well, I haven't taken out full page ads demanding the overthrow of Amazon yet, so I guess I've still got some way to go. ;-)

And on the subject of underwear, I need an entrepeneur to open up a used odd-sock shop. I might find a lot of my missing socks there and I can stop blaming my washing machine for having somehow eaten them.

The weather here in the UK sucks at the moment, but I think I'd die in 90 degree heat compared to what I've become used to. Putting a jumper on, grateful for the difference...

Reply
Renée Harrell
6/8/2014 11:11:13 am

We found Mr. Patterson's novel, CROSSED, at the library today. There were 120 chapters in less than 300 pages and this type of thing isn't unusual for the author. Does anyone else consistently write books with that kind of page count per chapter?

Oh, and Rob, we have your missing socks. Come by anytime and pick 'em up.

Reply
Rob Lopez link
6/8/2014 09:48:23 pm

Do you not think it works in a fifty page teaser trailer then? I wanted it fast paced. 300 pages of that would be a bit much though, especially if it switched between POVs.

And you tampered with my washing machine, didn't you? There's a vortex at the back of the drum that sucks out the socks and transports them through an alternate dimension. And it wasn't just me, was it?

Soon, all the world's odd socks will be yours, all yours (cue maniacal laughter).

Reply
Renée Harrell
6/9/2014 08:23:32 am

We thought the short chapter count worked very well in your piece. It added a lot of punch, which is probably why J.P. uses it. Also: how easy it is to finish a chapter a day!

We didn't tamper with your washing machine. From the smell of your socks, we didn't realize you had a washing machine.

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