A small piece of the above isn’t true. ScamYouOutOfYourMoney.com isn’t yet an active email address. Even for the scammers who reach out to me, it’s a bit too on the nose. If you’d like to own it for your own scamming purposes, GoDaddy.com says the domain is currently available. GoDaddy will let you have it for a buck a month for the first year. Sounds like a deal.
Less frequently, I’ll receive a real message about something I’ve written. Do these good people ask me about my writing projects? It’s happened, but too rarely. Do they ask me about the surprise wedding I attended earlier this month? One did, but they weren’t family so I wasn’t allowed to answer what they asked. No, the thing that seems to have stirred the populace was when I wrote about those aggravating clickbait ads that pop up on legitimate news sites. Are they real, what do they mean, have I personally clicked on them?
I can answer these questions, so let’s get to it. (1) The ads are real, but they’re not real news. (2) They don’t mean anything. They only exist to get people to click the link and suffer the advertising that follows. (3) When I was more trusting and less observant, I did click on a few of those trickster headlines. I don’t do this any longer. I suggest you don’t do, either.
Instead, when an ad line really intrigues me, I jump onto a search engine and see what I can find out about it. This is what I found about the clickbait ads I’d mentioned in this blog:
You Might Be an Old Fart if You Still Do This We are sorry to tell you that these things were never cool. The internet offered no help with this, and I find it curious that marketers view this as an intriguing clickbait headline. Who is the audience? Is it younger people, fearful that they’re old farts? Is it old people, fearful they’re no longer relevant? No idea.
The Wiktionary defines “old fart” as an elderly person who holds old-fashioned views. That didn’t help answer the question. Living.alot.com pronounced a whole lot of things as “never cool”, including cursive writing and writing checks… because the staff at living.alot.com wasn’t alive when those things were necessary. Ready to abandon this quest, I somehow found 30 Unmistakable Signs That You Are an Old Fart (#10. Fiber has a whole new importance in your life), but that link is nonsense, too. Fiber is always cool.
Always Place a Crayon in Your Wallet When Traveling I was all set for my trip. That’s when my friend told me to place a crayon in my wallet when traveling. Why, oh why, would anyone stick a crayon in their wallet, traveling or not? According to online sources, there are a number of reasons:
*When you’ve forgotten all of their toys, their tablet and their cell phone: If you’re traveling with a child, the theory goes, carrying a crayon wrapped in paper gives you something to share with the kid when they’re bored. This was a fantastic idea in 1903, the year that crayons were invented. In those days, as your great-great-great-grandparents may have told you, crayons were the iPad of their day. Crayon ownership was quite the thing in 1903. The world has moved on since then. Take it from someone who knows, if you’re traveling with a child who is old enough to not eat the crayon, they won’t be satisfied when you give them one. Not even the Crayola Mango Tango one.
Yes, Mango Tango was always the coolest crayon. It’s so cool, I’m surprised I haven’t featured it in this blog before.
*When the bad guys are descending upon you and/or you’re in the middle of nowhere: If you’re far from home, the theory goes, and need to write an emergency message, a crayon wrapped in paper can do the job. Pencil tips break and pens run out of ink, but the Mango Tango crayon will always be there to scrawl out a desperate note.
Also, I’m told, if you’ve decided to hike far away from a cleared path and cell phone signals, you can use your Mango Tango to mark rocks and trees along the way, helping you to find your way back to civilization. Forget food, water, matches. Just carry the crayon.
*When you prefer to carry your wallet in your back pocket: Left in your jeans pocket, your money is at risk, the theory goes, but less so if you break a crayon and place both pieces at opposite ends of the bottom of your wallet. Should a pickpocket try to slide your riches away, the rounded, rather bulky, parts of the crayon might catch on the edge of the back pocket and alert you to the theft.
Or it may not. But just think how confused the thief will be when he opens your wallet and only discovers a broken Mango Tango crayon inside.
Man Denies Female Soldier Her Seat in the Plane Once she sat down, things got even worse. I won’t link to where I found this because the writer s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d the tale as far as it could go. To make a too-long story much shorter, a military trainee decided to fly home during a break. Dressed in uniform, she took her seat in the economy section. When she did, a “mysterious man” approached. She was uneasy when he insisted that she was in his seat – until he explained that he wanted her to take the more spacious Business Class seat he was supposed to occupy. “It was the best gift she could ask for”, the military trainee is reputed to have said, which is ridiculous. Of all of the gifts she could have asked for, an upgraded seat for a couple hour flight was the best thing she could imagine? I don’t think so. Get that woman a crayon to put in her wallet.
This blog sponsored by Crayola Mango Tango crayons (#E7720 in the big box).