Let me start with some of my website visitors. Every week or so, one of my two websites will get a comment on it that lasts only as long as it takes me to read it. Deleted, it’s never seen again, so why are they bothering? The most recent bit of nonsense read: 오피 of (retracted) has just posted a comment on your blog post, What’s better than true love?: You completed several nice points there. I did a search on the issue and found the majority of persons will go along with your blog.
This isn’t a comment from someone who’d actually read that blog post. I didn’t make several nice points in that particular bit of silliness. With the help of Forbes magazine, I provided an estimate of Scrooge McDuck’s fortune. Then I told those who didn’t know that “billionaire romance” was a fiction category. It’s hard to imagine that the majority of people give a dry whistle about either of the points I’d made.
Clearly, this is some kind of spam move, but where’s the value in it for the spammer? Even if I’d left it in play, the true love blog is three months old. No one visits either of my websites to read old blogs and, if someone decided to do so, it’s unlikely they’d use more of their day to check the comments. 오피 and his ilk are wasting their time. Why do they do it?
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Being a curious sort, I looked up to see if “오피” meant anything when translated into English. To my surprise, I learned it means, “Opie.” Do spammers think of “Opie” as a warm and trusted name? Or did Opie become a hot, sexy name and I somehow missed the memo?
This is information I need to know before I write my next billionaire romance. Handsome billionaire Opie Cooter had it all. Everything except what he truly wanted. What he desired most in all the world was the love of a middle-aged gourd artist who was confused by avocados. Look, you write the romances that appeal to you, I'll do the ones I like.
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Something else I don’t understand today: Why are there five people on Facebook named, “Opie Opie”, and why is it that most of them have so many more Facebook friends than me?
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While I’m on the subject of Facebook, I received a FB message from an editor, someone I didn’t know. He offered me a small amount of money to ($150) for the rights to one of our novels. Not that he was targeting my work, in particular. I’ve heard from others that they received the same message from the same editor.
I understand why he made the offer. Once the contract is signed, he gets a lot of words for very little investment. What I don’t understand is why some writers are wondering if they should take him up on it. If the online chatter is correct, he’s buying all of your book’s rights for all time. Run!
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Because I fear getting vertigo, I avoid caffeine. I’d direct you to an earlier blog about this but, as I said, people don’t read the old blogs. Thanks to Kirkland Decaf in the big green can, I can start each day with two cups of warm joe and all is right in my world. When my coffee maker abruptly retired (no advance warning, no written notice, nothing), I went online to find a replacement.
I checked Amazon, wanting to see what people had to say about the machines they’d purchased. When looking at questions in regards to different models, these are some of the real answer that I found:
How well does this coffee maker work at high altitude (7000 ft)? Sorry, not been to that altitude with coffee maker, only skis. Hope its invigorating for you otherwise.
Does this strike you as some kind of weird brag? It did me.
Can you turn off the beep? All you need is a trusty soldering iron. I'm not concerned about voiding warranty because it is what it is.
When did “it is what it is” become an understandable reason for voiding a warranty? This is a thing I don’t think I want to understand.
Gentlemen – because I know it was two guys that wrote these answers, it had to be – why did you take the time to write these responses to curious buyers? Educate me, I need to know. Did you believe that your words would benefit ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD in regards to whether they should or shouldn’t buy that particular model of coffee maker?
Are the water tanks stainless steel or plastic? Heat set setting to keep coffee war!
Oh, dear heart, I… I… I give up. Is the last word of your response supposed to be, “warm”? Even if it is, what are you telling Amazon buyers about that coffee maker’s water tanks? It escapes me.
Although, I did have some fun with your answer. When Harrell called from the kitchen, asking how long to reheat the chicken marsala in the frig, I yelled back, “Heat set setting to keep coffee war!”
There was the loooongest period of silence before he spoke again.