Mars Needs Writers
  • Blog-O-Rama
  • The Store Thing
  • That Thing We Did
  • The Newest Thing

Collaboration can be a challenge

11/15/2025

0 Comments

 
Picture
Collaborations aren’t easy, as this year has reminded us. A Bablecube novella translation has been delayed. Our audiobook that was supposed to come out in September? The voice talent vanished, and we had to prevail upon the Gods of ACX to kill the contract. And there’s this 2026 thing we’re doing… but that’s for another day.
 
Almost everyone suffers a few emotional bruises when collaborating with others. Everyone except Jonah and Amanda Strassler. Those Strasslers. They make us Turners look like weak sauce.
 
It started when Jonah had an idea he couldn’t shake. He wanted to create a science-fiction story about three unfortunate interns forced to do the frightening and often illegal actions demanded of them by an evil corporation. A lighthearted adventure story, Jonah thought it would work best in comic book form.
 
Fortunately, his sister, Amanda, is an artist. In February, he approached her about working with him on the project. By midsummer, they’d completed all fifty-two pages and were selling the published comic at the Garden State Comic Fest. In between, they sat around a campfire, singing “Kumbaya” and eating S’mores. Then they’d hug it out every evening, each of them being ever so grateful for having such an amazing sibling in their lives.
 
(Okay, we’re making up the campfire thing. Jonah and Amanda had to collaborate through the computer and on the phone, so the hugging it out thing didn’t happen, either. But completing this big of a project in less than six months? That happened and, from what they tell us, with a minimum of bumps and scratches. They’re kind of amazing.)
 
A few weeks ago, author Aki Liao invited us to talk with the pair for his NoName Storyteller podcast. Aki works with Al McDermid on their Frank Keegan Mysteries, so he knows about collaborations. Alex Sheikman, artist extraordinaire and survivor of multiple collaborations, was in the discussion, too. If you’d like to hear all of us chatting about the creative process and the perils of collaboration, the audio dropped yesterday.
 
Aki called the episode, "Rising Stars and Veteran Creators: Titans Together Across the Indie Cosmos." If he hadn't run out of space, he'd have called it, "Rising Stars and Veteran Creators: Titans Together Across the Indie Cosmos. Also, the Turners." And he'd have been right to do so. We didn't even know there was an indie cosmos.
 
This will get you to the right place on Spotify: here.
For Apple Podcasts, try here.
If Star Interns intrigues you, here’s the link.

0 Comments

The Bone Bar is open

11/13/2025

0 Comments

 
Picture
… a couple of weeks behind schedule, but what are you gonna do? Renée submitted her design to the neon light folks well before Halloween. The seller promised delivery in October, but there were some hiccups along the way. The sign just showed up at our door.
 
So, sadness, we didn’t get a chance to hang it this year. Next year, though, it’s going to look swell behind our Dean the Deathologist.
 
Also, those white flappy things in the sign’s upper left-hand corner? They’re Honduran white bats. Not seagulls. Don't you dare suggest otherwise.


0 Comments

Joe Rogan loves himself some AI-generated music

11/13/2025

0 Comments

 
Picture
Or so I've heard. There are a couple of AI-generated country hits climbing the charts, and… that sucks. Renée heard one song – although she didn't know the 'artist' was computer-generated – and told me she didn't enjoy it.
 
"It's missing something," she said. "Nuance?"
 
Humanity.
 
(The early AI image on this post? It's from RI, Master of Men, illustrated by Martin Salvador, written by Hal, and published forever ago.)
 
But it got me to thinking: What if I asked Microsoft's AI companion to help me write today's update? Would it be great? Awful? To find out, I requested it to write a 400-word post for MarsNeedsWriters on how people can recognize when AI has written a 400-word post for MarsNeedsWriters. Or anyone else's website.
 
The article was completed within seconds. Then, the AI-generated wordsmith asked if I'd like a more SEO-friendly version that could help it rank better on search engines. Well, sure.
 
How to Spot AI‑Generated Content: Recognizing a Website Post Written by AI
​ 

Artificial intelligence is transforming online publishing, and many websites now feature posts created entirely by AI tools. While these articles can be polished and professional, they often carry subtle signs that reveal their machine origins. If you want to improve your skills in AI content detection, here are practical ways to recognize when a 400‑word post has been written by artificial intelligence.
 
1. Exact Word Count Precision
AI systems excel at meeting strict requirements. If a post is exactly 400 words—without drifting above or below—that's a strong clue. Human writers tend to be less rigid, often producing 380 or 420 words instead of hitting the mark perfectly.
2. Neutral, Generic Tone
AI writing often sounds smooth and grammatically correct but lacks personality. The tone may feel neutral, balanced, and designed to appeal broadly. Human writers usually inject quirks, humor, or strong opinions that make their work stand out.
3. Formulaic Structure
AI‑generated posts frequently follow a predictable pattern: introduction, numbered sections, and a neat conclusion. While this makes them easy to read, it can feel mechanical. Human authors often experiment with flow, add unexpected transitions, or break the mold.
4. Repetition of Common Phrases
Because AI relies on patterns, it may repeat certain phrases like "in conclusion," "overall," or "key indicators." Humans naturally vary their language more, even when covering similar points.
5. Absence of Personal Experience
AI cannot share lived experiences. Posts generated by machines rarely include anecdotes, personal stories, or unique insights. If a piece feels informative but impersonal, it's likely AI‑written.
6. Broad but Shallow Analysis
AI excels at summarizing information quickly but struggles with depth. A 400‑word AI post often touches on multiple points without diving deeply into any one idea. Human writers may linger on a single thought, offering richer detail or stronger opinions.
​ 
Conclusion
Learning how to spot AI writing is about noticing what's missing: personality, unpredictability, and lived experience. A perfectly structured, neutral, and impersonal 400‑word post is often the giveaway. As AI tools evolve, these signs may become subtler, but for now, they remain reliable clues for recognizing AI‑generated content.
  
Zzzzzzz... kind of boring, right? It's probably a good thing since, now that the beans have been spilled, we can never offer an AI-produced post on this site again. You'd spot it immediately. Although Joe Rogan might love it.
 
Not everyone is into humanity these days.


0 Comments

A bad day for the Elf on the Shelf

11/8/2025

0 Comments

 
Picture
​By the time Renée’s done, it’s going to have been a bad day for all the elves at Santa’s Village. Because that’s the way she rolls.
 
As mentioned before, Halloween is Renée’s favorite holiday. Taking out a box of decorations for the big day, she came across our very sweet Santa’s Village display… and put it with the Halloween stuff.
 
“You know what this needs?” she asked. “Zombies.” I didn’t ask why. Everyone who knows Renée knows why.
 
She ordered some tiny plastic zombies, placed them throughout the town, but wasn’t satisfied. “Zombies need victims,” she said because, after all, what is Hall-O-Mass without victims? A few days later, Santa and his favorite elf had been sacrificed to the horde.
 
Although Halloween has come and gone, she’s continuing the massacre. By Chris-O-Ween, there will be more elf victims scattered throughout the town. But be of good heart: Renée is sculpting a shotgun-wielding Mrs. Claus to straddle one of the village's tallest rooftops. Santa's soulmate is in a mood.
 
With luck, she'll save Santa's Village.

0 Comments

It's been more than a minute....

11/7/2025

0 Comments

 
Picture

it’s been so long since we've updated this website that neither of us remembers how to create posts for the Blog-O-Rama. Not that this is much of a worry. Weebly’s such an easy build-your-site platform even we’ll figure it out in time.
 
So, why did we abandon Mars Needs Writers? Life got busy, we lost some people we loved, and we moved across the country to a strange and foreign land: the Southeastern region of the United States. It’s nice here; the people are wonderful, but there’s been a bit of a life adjustment.
 
Mostly, though, we blame Weebly, the go-to place for easy build-your-site platforms. Once the outfit became a Square-owned service, the new guys wanted to charge us for posting here. “More money” is the American way. It’s the world’s way. Since this website generates views but not income, this felt like a bad deal.
 
(The picture on the left? That’s from the story “Forever” by Alex Sheikman and Hal Turner, lettered by Renée Turner. You can find it in David Lloyd’s ACES WEEKLY, which is an absolutely aces publication.)
 
We decided to share our thoughts and prayers on social media instead, where words can be written for free. Although we rarely wrote those words because Facebook and Twitter and Instagram aren’t as much fun as playing on our own website.
 
So, why did we return now? At this very second, it appears Square isn’t asking for cash for the occasional post. We’re not positive about this, though, so let’s see what happens once this goes live.
 

0 Comments

Martin Freeman IS The Responder

5/27/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
I don’t like how much Facebook appears to know about me. Somehow, they’ve discovered that I enjoy Martin Freeman’s work as an actor. To punish me for being a fan, they’ve been plastering my Facebook page with BritBox ads for a television series called The Responder. Starring Mr. Freeman.
 
I want to tell you, I’m not impressed by the show’s title. The Responder? He’s a responder, not even the first responder? Well, maybe it’s a British thing. Perhaps the show’s producers don’t want to make it sound like Martin is all full of himself. Or maybe the Brits feel that it’s enough that Martin responds to a crisis at all. “It’s nice of him to come by, don’t you think?” Inspector Corbyn asks his men. “Half a day late, half a week late, whatever works for Martin. He’s a jolly chap.”
 
Do people in England still call other people, “jolly chaps”? Did they ever? If you find out, don’t keep it to yourself. Let me know.
 
I first noticed Martin Freeman in the British version of The Office, an entertaining show with an adequate title. The Office title doesn’t sizzle, not like Jurassic Park. When I saw Jurassic Park on a theater marquee, I immediately parked my car, then stood in line to see the movie. The Office doesn’t intrigue potential viewers, either, not like Better Off Ted. On the other hand, I may be the only living person who loved that television show, so what does that say about entertainment today? If the Hollywood production factory can only squeeze 26 episodes out of a Better Off Ted, the name of the show isn’t all that critical.
 
There are two points I’d like to make before escaping the blog today. The first is, Facebook needs to run different ads on my FB page. Unless something more exciting comes along, I won’t be signing up for BritBox. Except for Martin Freeman and his accent, there’s nothing about this new show that makes me want to subscribe to another streamer service. If the program was called Jurassic Detective or Better Off Ted Returns, they’d get my money in a heartbeat. The second thing is that my Vella story, Sharp Teeth, comes out on June 1st. When I'm writing, I struggle with titles, too, but I like this one. The novelette’s subtitle is A Story of Lost Love and Werewolves. Unless I stumble along the way, there will be a new episode every three days until the tale is complete.
 
If you’d care to take a peek on or after 06/01, Amazon will let you read the first three episodes for free. There’s no Martin Freeman appearance in the first part of the story, but after…?
 
No, not even after. Martin might be a jolly chap, but he’s likely a jolly chap with lawyers. Lawyers aren’t jolly at all.

0 Comments

Are 'zombies' a genre? If so, it's dead.

3/2/2022

1 Comment

 
Picture
​Since you brought the subject up, though, I suppose I need to mention my newest novelette, World War Zayne. If you’re wondering whether the novelette involves zombies, its subtitle is Boys’ Love During the Time of the Zompocalypse. Because it’s not really a new publication, I’m not sending out a newsletter to share this announcement. It’s only you, dear heart, who has to suffer through what I’m about to tell you.
 
It’s a tight 12,000-word story that involves zombies, biting, the world in chaos, and romance. It’s also kinky. There’s male/female love, which has always been the case with my fiction, and male/male love, which is something new in my writing. Since my romances often have a few twists under the bedcovers, I believe my readers can handle a little something different. If you only know my work through The Runaway Mail-Order Bride, this is not anything like that. Not even close.
 
But, as I said, it’s not a new publication. Not entirely new, anyway. Back when the zombie genre felt hot, Harrell and I wrote a tight 12,000-word story called World War Zelda. (There’s no underline because Zelda has been pulled from the marketplace.) That tale involved zombies, biting, the world in chaos, and romance. It was kinky. Exactly the type of thing I wanted to read at the time, and exactly the kind of thing I hoped others would want to read, too.
 
I was so wrong.
 
It turns out, it takes a certain kind of person to want to read about the collapse of civilization spiced up with a good session of hot shower sex. Not enough of those people wanted to read World War Zelda. Maybe they would have tried it if I’d subtitled the novelette, The Hot Shower Sex Edition.
 
It wouldn’t have hurt. Almost everything sounds more interesting if you include the words, “the hot shower sex edition.”
“Did the mailman come?” “He sure did. The hot shower sex edition!” “What’s for dinner?” “Bean burritos with a side of rice. The hot shower sex edition!” You say it makes no sense; I say it’s marketing genius.
 
Zelda came out years ago. Jumping past all of those years to last week, I was sitting on the sofa, reading manga. Boys’ Love manga. I mentioned to my writing partner that I wanted us to plot a Boys’ Love story, not for 2022, but for one distant day in the future. To my surprise, he was paying attention to my rambling and the words, “the future”, triggered something inside of him.
 
Leaving the sofa, he told me had an idea. (No, it wasn’t hot shower sex.) I reminded him we had no time to spare until 2024. He told me that his idea would only take a dozen hours or so.
 
Less than two days later, he brought me a print-out for World War Zayne: Boys’ Love During the Time of the Zompocalypse. He’d rewritten W. W. Zelda, of course, but he’d changed enough of the body of the story that it felt fresh to me. One of the first surprises was the way he’d altered our main character’s primary sexual relationship. In Zelda, our heroine loved her slacker-ish boyfriend and wanted to be with him. In Zayne, our hero wasn’t getting along with his driven girlfriend. They stayed together because neither of them was quite unhappy enough to separate. Knowing how things were going to unfold, I realized that this was the approach we should have taken with the first version of the story. It made things more interesting. It made the ending more enjoyable, too.
 
The only part he didn’t get right was the “Boys’ Love” sections of the manuscript, but he’s not a Boys’ Love reader. That’s my hobby. It cost me the better part of the next day, but it came out nicely. Or so I hope. The question now is whether other readers will enjoy this version, too.
​ 
If the novelette struggles to find a readership, you know what I’ll do? I’ll change the title to World War Zayne: The Hot Shower Sex Edition! And, if that works, can The Runaway Mail-Order Bride: The Hot Shower Sex Edition! be far behind?

1 Comment

Do you believe in miracles?

2/15/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
​Now that the show is over, I can share a couple of my gourds that were in the exhibit. “Steampunk Bunny” is to the left, “Trapped” to the right.
 
Starting Thursday of last week, the Good Witch and I were volunteering at the Wuertz Farm’s 17th Annual Gourd Festival. The Powers That Be held the festival on a weekend that included the Olympics and the Super Bowl. I selfishly worried that this was a mistake. It isn’t as much fun making gourd art if no one sees it.
 
I shouldn’t have worried if people would show up. Thousands of visitors came through the gates. Not Super Bowl numbers, but pretty good for an event in Casa Grande, Arizona.
 
Instead of focusing on my words for today’s post, I spent my time chatting with festival goers, selling tickets to the Game of Chance, and holding my breath as the judges evaluated the work I’d submitted into the various competitions. Both the Good Witch and I did okay, each of us bringing home new ribbons to add to our work rooms. We also shared a first-place ribbon for a project we did together.
 
None of this was miraculous. We’d worked at a gourd festival before, we’d won some ribbons before. Last Saturday, though, something happened that I didn’t believe was possible. Call it Miracle #1. It occurred during the mini-gourdster race, the Grande 500.
 
My sleek little whale racer, Thar She Rolls, was tagged as Racer #10. My hubby’s wind-resistant behemoth of a snail racer, The Snail Trails, was tagged as Racer #9. There were 2o cars in the big race.
 
Before the Grande 500, there’s a touch of pomp and a dab of circumstance. Musicians played as the racers and their owners paraded through a large metal shelter to the 32-foot race track. (My partner hated the parade. Being on display is not his idea of fun. “Never again,” he growled.) The parade ended at the track, which was positioned in front of two sets of bleachers and an enthusiastic audience. The cars were timed as they go, two at a time, down the track. The top six finishers were then raced again.
 
It was a blast. Three of the cars flew off of the track, finishing their run on the concrete floor below. A few of the racers stopped in the middle of the track, their weight or their wheels not up to the challenge. Two of the cars hit the cushion at the end with such force, they knocked the stop aside. The racers were snatched up before they could make it to the bleachers.
 
Rolling on only three of its four wheels—the fourth refused to make contact with the racetrack, because of course it did—The Snail Trails led the charge. Like I said, that baby had some size to it (relatively speaking). When the smoke cleared, my whale racer, Thar She Rolls, rolled well. It came in first. The even bigger surprise was when the snail racer came in third! It was a miracle. Miracle #1 of this blog.
 
Picture
​The second-place finisher was Ice Sled. Although it’s hard to see in this pic, the Penguin-mobile was so cute, children were approaching its owner, telling them they liked it. No one said that about the whale. Or the snail.
 
For me, Miracle #2 is happening right here. Twelve months ago, on February 15th, I promised to write and post a new blog every seven to ten days for an entire year. I met my goal. It paid off in a couple of ways. Besides forcing me to sit down and write something that wasn’t fiction, these posts drew more people to both of my websites. The audience for MarsNeedsWriters tripled while the readers for AnneGlynn increased over twenty-fold. Considering some of my posts, how can I be anything but pleased?
 
Gilligan’s Island? Really? Since I had a week to come up with each topic, you’d think I’d scribble something of greater than average interest. I’m sorry this didn’t always happen often enough.
 
If you’d prefer to try someone who finds something interesting to say regularly, stop by Ken Levine’s blog spot: here. He’s been a novelist, a director, a DJ, a baseball announcer, a cartoonist, a television showrunner; it’s no wonder he has stuff to share. Look at his archives and you’ll see over 10,000 posts to read. If you stop by here and a new blog is missing, go to his place.
 
Fair warning, though: Ken is opinionated and can be persnickety. A lot of his posts are Hollywood-heavy. Also, when he can’t find an appropriate photo for whatever he’s writing that day, he’ll post a photo of Natalie Wood on his site, instead. I think it’s done because of love or lust, but maybe Natalie drives traffic to his blog. Who knows?
 
I asked the creator of The Snail Trails if we should start posting photos of Chris Hemsworth to our websites to drive traffic to our blogs, but he wasn’t buying it. I offered to substitute pictures of David Tennant, instead, but he saw through my little ploy.
 
He knows I’m more of a Dr. Who type of woman than a Thor kind of girl. If I was posting images of Tennant’s Who every week, this blog would never go away. Since I can’t, I’ll be blogging less often. I will be by occasionally, though, so don’t think of this as goodbye. It’s more of a--
Picture
​I had to use the picture somewhere, didn't I? It’s just too fun.
 
Until next time, stay well and stay safe.
0 Comments

Today's cussed blog.

2/8/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Since this is a PG-rated website, I try to watch my language. I try not to curse around children, people I don’t know, the highly religious and the easily offended. But if you’re a friend, I will occasionally throw a little spice into the conversation.
 
You won’t find any swear words in this post, either, because I’m going to substitute asterisks for the naughty words. Which brings us to Murderville on Netflix. Because the program’s not on network television, the actors have some leeway in how they speak. Cursing can occur and sometimes does. In episode #2, it happened frequently.
 
If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s roughly a comedy-murder mystery. In each episode, the middle-aged and eccentric police detective Terry Seattle (played by Will Arnett) is teamed with a different celebrity as his partner. Terry and the show’s regular cast have a script to follow. The celebrity does not. He or she enters the situation as Terry’s newest partner, expected to improv his or her way through the half-hour show. During the show, silliness reigns supreme while a few scattered clues and red herrings are thrown into the mix. At the end of each episode, there’s an entire Agatha Christie thing going on, with all the suspects brought into the room. At that point, the celebrity is asked to identify the murderer.
 
Of the four episodes I’ve watched, the guest stars have done a pretty good job of finding the guilty party. Those of us who play along at home can try to solve the murder, too. So far, I’m four for four.
 
No brag, just fact, as Walter Brennan used to say on The Guns of Will Sonnett. If you don’t know Walter Brennan or The Guns of Will Sonnett, you can find episodes on YouTube.
 
As I was saying, Murderville, episode 2, leaned a little heavily on the profanity. Not in the scripted passages, mind you, but in those that were improvised by former football player and Detective-in-Training, Marshawn Lynch. Marshawn didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just the way he speaks, but my, was his speech colorful. How do I know this? In an interview with Hollywood Reporter, he recounted his reply when asked what kind of role he wanted when acting. “I told ‘em, ‘Well, I don’t want to talk too much. I want to blow **** up. I want to shoot ****. Basically, I just want to **** **** up.”
 
In his appearance on Murderville, Marshawn didn’t blow **** up, didn’t shoot **** up, and he talked a lot. For a man who’d never done improv, I thought he had a powerful presence and did an interesting job… but he used the same four-letter words too frequently. After the fifth use of the same curse word, I decided the man needed some new swear words.
 
The problem is, there haven’t been any great new swear words for about 200 years. Today’s current favorites were among in the favorites in the 1800s, too. Our ancestors, the Victoria lords and ladies, used the same S-word, F-word, C-word, and B-word that we hear today.
 
The M-F word? It dropped in at the beginning of the 20th century. Being a progressive guy, Marshawn threw a couple of them on the show.
 
The Victorian Era had other curse words that have fallen by the wayside. Words like “blazes” and “dratted” and “bootlicker.” These are pretty weak tea in the 21st century. But wouldn’t it have been fun if Marshawn used a few of those words? “The dratted bootlicker who killed our victim is that strumpet, Mary Agnes! May she go to blazes!”
 
If you haven’t guessed, “bootlicker” and “strumpet” were also popular swear words back in the day.
 
As much as I admire some originality while swearing, it’s escaped me so far. While packing my gourd art for the upcoming Big Show, I lightly nudged a figure on my mermaid sculpture. It immediately broke off.
 
“****!” I said. “****!” Distraught, I went with two of this century’s standards. It turns out, me and Marshawn both need new swear words.
 
Before I go: If you aren’t a Netflix subscriber, or if you’ve already burned through the six episodes of Murderville, I’m told you can get your comedy-murder mystery hit by trying Murder in Successville, instead. A BBC production, Successville ran for three seasons and was the inspiration for the creation of Murderville. In Northern America, there’s no one streaming the series, there’s no Region 1 DVDs, and it’s not even on BritBox (USA). The only place you can find it is YouTube (here).

0 Comments

The snail and the whale.

1/31/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Me and Dolly. We both were up at 3 a.m. this morning.
 
I was awake because I didn’t like what I’d written for this blog on Tuesday. The post was loaded with too many uses of “I” and “me” and “my”, which is ever so boring, so I decided not to share it with you. Yesterday, I couldn’t think of a decent substitute for what I’d written, so I did some other writing before puttering away on my gourd racer.
 
More about gourd racers in just a minute.
 
This morning, guilt brought me out of bed. Don’t you hate it when your mind decides you shouldn’t sleep? Now that I was two days behind schedule, I needed to get this blog written and up. Since I don’t want to wake up at 3 a.m. again tomorrow morning, here we are.
 
Dolly Parton gets up at 3 a.m. every morning. Willingly. At 76 years of age, she probably sings “Jolene” as she kicks off her covers. She says she prefers to start her day this early because she welcomes the quiet. Three in the morning is apparently a great time to do a little writing and a good hour to spend some time with God.
 
If I was God, I’d recommend we get together a little later in the day. Maybe after I’d had a cup of Joe or two.
 
It came as a surprise to me, but I like Dolly Parton. I didn’t expect for this to happen. She seemed like a lot, if you know what I mean, but years ago, I went to a concert. She was the opening act; a performer I didn’t want to see. I wished the promoter had picked someone else, anyone else; and, from the surrounding voices, it sounded like the rest of the crowd felt the same way. There wasn’t a lot of applause when she came on the stage. By the time she left the stage, she’d gained a legion of new fans. As a performer, she was warm, friendly, funny, and self-depreciating. She gave a performance that left the entire audience on their feet, cheering.
 
The headliner that followed did all right, but it was Dolly that won our hearts that night.
 
# # #
 
I have a favorite new term: “Word loaf.” I was listening to a wonderful ASMR when she stated that the poorly written, horribly constructed novel she was reading was a terrible mishmash of words thrown together without sufficient thought or purpose. The book was a “word loaf.”
 
# # #
  
“Slow and steady is definitely going to lose the race,” my life partner told me.
 
“You don’t know that,” I replied to him. “During a gourd run, anything can happen.”
  
Have you noticed that you can’t spell “replied” without including the word “lie”? We both knew I was lying when I said we didn’t know his gourd racer was going to do badly in the upcoming Running of the Gourds.
 
“Is there a prize for the slowest racer?” he asked me. I wish there was. Roll a rock down the racetrack, it’s gonna beat his gourd.
 
If this is all new to you, a gourd run is fun to watch. If you were once a Cub Scout or raised a Cub Scout, their Pinewood Derby is not dissimilar to the Grande 500. In the Pinewood Derby, per Wikipedia, “Scouts build their own unpowered, unmanned miniature cars from wood, usually from kits containing a block of pine wood, plastic wheels, and metal axles.” The only notable difference for the Grande 500 is that there are spruced-up gourds riding on top of the pine wood cars. On the day of the race, the Gourdsters are timed as they’re sent down a 32-foot ramp. After everyone has had their turn, the times are compared and the fastest Gourdster wins.
 
Having taken part in the Grande 500 once before, I knew what to expect. My whale racer (entry name: Thar She Rolls) is small, sleek, and heavily weighted around the rear axle for maximum speed. You bet I took notes the last time. Thar She Rolls has an excellent chance to make a better showing than my last racer.
 
In the spirit of fellowship, my guy decided he’d enter the race, too. This from a man who has no experience with gourding, Gourdsters, or clay work. Having been a Cub Scout, he’d taken part in the Pinewood Derby before. It did not go well. That was another occasion when he wished there’d been a prize for the slowest racer.
 
I suspect he regretted his offer to enter the Grande 500 the moment he made it. But, once the words were said, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. He picked out the biggest gourd allowed—“It called to me”—joined me in my work area, cut himself on my tools, and literally bled to make his creation. His snail racer (entry name: The Snail Trails) will stand out from the other competition. It’s maxed out in size, weight, and wind resistance. If you say his creation is enjoyably ugly, I know he wouldn’t disagree.
 
Will he build another racer for next year? You don’t have to wonder, he’s already told me: “Oh, hell, no.”
​

0 Comments
<<Previous
Forward>>

    Come on in! This

    is the electronic home of Those ​Turners.

    Picture

                       Renée         &       Harrell


    It's about time you got here.

    It's about time we returned, too.
     
    This is now the website for both "Renée Harrell" and "Anne Glynn." We have other pen names, too, but these two are our favorites.
     
    Anne used to have her own website, but she tired of updating it. Together, we'll see if we can bring Mars Needs Writers back to life.
    We're on Facebook

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    November 2025
    May 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    July 2020
    June 2016
    March 2016
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011

    Categories

    All
    101 Things To Avoid Doing Before You Die
    101 Things To Do Before You Die
    2012 Zinfandel Les Enfants Terribles
    50 Faust Dates
    50 Shades Of Grey
    5 Star Reviews
    Abigail Breslin
    Aces Weekly
    Acting Classes Melbourne
    Actress
    Acx
    Addam's Family
    Agatha Christie
    Agatha Christie's Curtain
    Agent Carter
    Age Of Dinosaurs
    A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius
    Alan Dean Foster
    Alex Adventure
    Alex Cross And The Big Bag Of Gold
    Alex Sheikman
    All Fool's Day
    All Saints' Day
    Aly's Luck
    Amazon
    Amazon.de
    Amazon Eu
    Amazon Launch Bonus
    Amazon Preorder
    Amazon Prime
    Amazon Reviews
    Amazon Vella
    A. Meredith Walters
    American Horror Story
    Amy C. Cosper
    An Even Scarier Solstice
    Angelfall
    Animasher
    Anja Bauermeister
    Anne Glynn
    Annual Income In Tajikistan
    Aphrodite Hunt
    April Fools
    April Fool's Day
    Arizona
    Arizona Museum Of Natural History
    Arizona's Greatest Hot Dogs
    Army Of Darkness
    Arthur Conan Doyle
    Artist
    Ashes & Ink
    A Tale Of Two Cities
    Atlanta Nights
    At The Mountains Of Madness
    Audiobook
    Audiobook Narration
    A Very Scary Solstice
    Avocados
    Azatamut
    Azerbaijan
    Babelcube
    Babies
    Bad Book Covers
    Bad Book Reviews
    Bad Boy Billionaire
    Bad Monkey
    Bad Teddy
    Bag Of Bones
    Baking
    Barbie
    Barbie Convention
    Barbie Dream House
    Barbie's Birthday
    Bart Simpson
    Beautiful Disaster
    Beaver Pond Clubtail Dragonfly
    Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo
    Benjamin Roman
    Bernie The Plant Bot
    Best Buy Recycling
    Bestessays.org
    Best Fat Burner Pills
    Best-seller
    Best Sellers In Kindle
    Better Off Ted
    Betty Willis
    Bibliomancy
    Bigstock
    Bigstockphoto.com
    Bill Fitzhugh
    Billionaire Romance
    Bill Plympton
    Birgit Hausmayer
    Bitcoin
    Bizarre Things People Believed
    Black Adder
    Black Eyed Peas
    Black Friday
    Blake M. Petit
    Blast Vegas
    Blog
    Blog-O-Rama
    Bob Bailey
    Bobcat Goldthwait
    Bob's Burgers
    Book Reviews
    Bookrix
    Book Trailers
    Bootlicker
    Boston Globe
    Boys' Love
    Bppv
    Breathless
    Britannica.com
    Brown Recluse Spiders
    Bucket Hat
    Bucket List
    Buffy The Vampire Slayer
    Burst
    Business Insider
    Buzz Bernard
    Cafe Rio
    Caffeine
    Cambodia
    Can
    Canada
    Candace
    Cara Nelson
    Carl Hiaasen
    Casa Grande
    Cassandra Parkin
    Cassysailermoon
    Cast A Deadly Spell
    Castle
    Casual Gourmet Chicken Sausage
    Celtic Cross
    Census Bureau
    Ceromancy
    Chanel
    Chicken Soup For The Soul
    CHINYA Electric Kettle
    CHINYA Store
    Chocolate Chunk Peppermint Loaf
    Choluteca
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Pine
    Christmas Ornament
    Christopher Marlowe
    Chuck Palahniuk
    Cinderella And The Brooding Billionaire
    Circus Peanuts
    Clams
    Climb Mount Everest
    Clorox Bleach & Blue
    Clowns
    Cobblestone Press
    Cockneys Vs Zombies
    Coffee Maker
    COIVD-19
    Cold
    Condom Girl
    Cooking With Pooh
    Corante.com
    Costco Fruitcake
    Costco's Finest Champagne
    Coulrophobia
    Countdown Deal
    Courthouse Wedding
    Cover Design
    COVID-19 Restrictions
    Crank: High Voltage
    Crayola Mango Tango Crayon
    Crayon In Your Wallet
    Createspace
    Crooked Sexy Teeth
    Crypto Currency
    Cthulu
    Cub Scouts
    Cynthia Vespia
    Damned
    Dancing Days
    Dan Levy
    Dark Shadows
    Darn Tough Of Vermont
    Darn Tough Socks
    David Danger
    David Llloyd
    David Tennant
    Dead Sparrow
    Dean Koontz
    Deanna Lee
    Dean Wesley Smith
    Deep Thoughts
    Demon Hunter: Saga
    Denies Female Soldier
    Den Of Geek
    Depois Que Tudo Ficou Ruim
    Derek Haines
    Desert Rest Stop
    Destined
    Detective Novels
    Diddly-squat
    Digital Science Fiction
    Directorio
    #DisneyMustPay
    D.I.Y. Or Die
    Dizziness
    Dizzy
    Doctor Doom
    Doctor Sleep: A Novel
    Dolly Parton
    Donald E Westlake
    Don Quixote
    Donuts
    Doodly-squat
    Do You Fear What I Fear?
    Dr. Doom
    Dr. John Epley
    Dr. Who
    Dusk Till Dawn The Series
    Easter 2021
    Easy Peasy
    Ebook Booster
    Ebook Pricing
    EcoRealx
    EcoRealx Electric Kettle
    Edge Of Tomorrow
    Eerie
    Ellery Queen
    Emf Meter
    Entertainment Weekly
    Enter The Fist
    Epley Maneuvert
    Ereader Iq
    Ereaderiq
    Eric Shanower
    Erle Stanley Gardner
    Ernest Hemingway
    Escudo
    Eufy RoboVac 30
    Eugene Levy
    Evil Dead
    Eyewall
    Facebook
    Fake
    Fan Letters
    Faust
    Fawlty Towers
    Felicia Day
    Fergie
    Fifty
    Fire-grilled Chicken Tacos
    Fiverr.com
    Fl
    Flu
    Forbes
    Fortune-telling
    Fotolia
    Fox In Socks
    Francine
    Frankenstein
    Freaky (2020)
    Freaky 2020
    Free
    Free Kindle Books
    Free Sofa
    Fried Cockroaches
    Fruit Fly
    Fugu
    Futurama
    Gabbiano Chianti 2010
    Galaxy Quest
    Gale Haut
    Geoffrey Chaucer
    George C. Scott
    Germentrude Boggmonstro
    Get-rich-quick
    Ghost In The Invisible Bikini
    Gilbert And Sullivan
    Giles
    Gilligan Fandom.com
    Gilligan Shirt
    Gilligan's Island
    Gingerbread House
    Ginger Grant
    Girl Detective
    Glee
    Go!Animate
    God Is Dead And I Don
    Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake
    Golgotha
    Golgotha Ar
    Gonxha
    Good Ereader
    Good Show Sir
    Google Fi Voicemail Isn't Working
    Gotham
    Gourdbye
    Gourd Racers
    Gourdsters
    Graham Greene
    Grammar Girl
    Grande 500
    Grandma
    Grandmas Denturesc1be08622e
    Griffin Hayes
    Guardians Of The Galaxy
    Gung Ho
    Gun-jitsu
    Halloween
    Hamish Macbeth
    Hand Warmer
    Happy Death Day
    Happy Fun Ball
    Harry Potter And The Big Bag Of Gold
    Haunter
    Head-in-a-jar Creator
    Hellboy
    Hilaria
    HiNovel
    Historical Dictionary Of American Slang
    Hollywood Reporter
    Honduras
    Hotel Connor
    Hot Shower Sex Edition!
    How Many Of Me
    How To Write A Best-Seller
    How To Write Faster
    HP Laptop Computer
    HPLHS
    H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society
    Huffington Post
    Hyundai
    Iced Coffee
    Ilibrarian
    I Luv Halloween
    Independently Animated: Bill Plympton
    In-tank Cleaners
    Iron Man
    I Sell Love
    Island Castaway Costume Shirt
    It Only Got Worse
    Itunes
    Jack Ryan
    James Joyce
    James Patterson
    Janet Evanovich
    Jane Wallace-knight
    J.D. Robb
    Jebediah Buzzard
    Jennifer Grey
    Jennifer's Body
    Jerome
    Jessie Harrell
    Jill Trent
    Jim Patterson
    Joe Konrath
    Joel Kinnaman
    John Brunner
    John Carter Of Mars
    John Dies At The End
    John D. MacDonald
    Johnny Dollar
    Jonas Grumby
    Jonathan Cooper
    Jonathan Pinnock
    Jo Ramsey
    Jr.
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    Julie Kaewert
    July 4th
    Jurassic Park
    Kakamega North District
    Kakao Entertainment
    Katchoo
    Kate Hawkins
    Katy Mattress
    Kdp Select
    Keith Giffen
    Ken Follett
    Ken Levine
    Kenya
    Kettle Corn Recipe
    Kevin Yarbrough
    Kindle
    Kindle Daily Deal
    Kindle Vella
    Kingdom Hospital
    Kirkland Signature
    KISS
    Kit Foster
    Kiva.org
    Kobo
    Krispy Kreme
    Kristine Kathryn Rusch
    Labor Day
    Labour Day
    L.A. Confidential
    Lady Luck
    Lasso
    Las Vegas
    Lawrence Block
    LC Kane
    Leanne Salter
    Led Lighting
    Lee Goldberg
    Legends Of Tomorrow
    L. Frank Baum
    Liam Neeson
    Liz Crowley
    Lou Ferrigno
    Louis Armstrong
    Luke Forney
    Luke Reviews
    Luxor
    Magic Promotion Genie
    Malice
    Mangos Mexican Cafe
    Manybooks
    Margaux Lange
    Marian Keyes
    Marshawn Lynch
    Mars Needs Writers
    Martin Salvador
    Mary Shelley
    Matilda The Musical
    Matthew Scudder
    Maybe You Should Write A Book
    M.C. Beaton
    Media Bistro
    Meira Pentermann
    Melbourne Ska Orchestra
    "Men's Stride Over The Calf Ultra-Lightweight Running Sock"
    Merri Hiatt
    Method Coffee
    Michael Agger
    Michael Crichton
    Michael Keaton
    Michele Lee
    Michelle Douglas
    Mickey Mouse
    Microfiction
    Might Be An Old Fart
    Mignon Fogarty
    Mike Mignola
    Mini-gourdster Race
    Miosal Brand
    Miosal Electric Kettle
    Moby Dick
    Moby Dick: Or
    Moderna
    Modern Library
    Mojo Jojo
    Mongolia
    Monk
    Morgan Kearns
    Mother Teresa
    Mrs. Darcy Versus The Aliens
    Multiplujillionaire
    Murder In Successville
    Murder Mystery Dinner
    Murder She Wrote
    Murderville
    Myfreeindie
    Nabla
    Nach Der Katastrophe
    Name Withheld
    Natalie Wood
    National Fry An Egg On The Sidewalk Day
    Naughty List
    Negros Women For Tomorrow Foundation
    Nehemiah Persoff
    Neil Gaiman
    Netflix Daredevil
    New Arrival
    Newman's Own Old Fashioned Lemonade
    New World Fairy Tales
    New Year's Resolutions
    New York Times Good Fruitcake Recipe
    NFTs
    Niceville
    Nick Hornby
    Nineteen Eighty-Four By George Orwell
    Nipple Piercing
    NO GOOD Mail-Order Bride
    Non-Stop
    Norman Spinrad
    Nudiustertian
    Nwf Daily News
    NWTF
    Omidyar Network
    One Bride For Seven Brothers
    One Republic
    On The Writing Of Speculative Fiction
    Open Your Legs
    Opie
    Other People
    Otolaryngologist
    Out Of Print
    Ozma Of Oz
    Paolo Di Giovanni Fei
    Passport Photo
    Paste Magazine
    Paul Cosca
    Peanut
    Pee Funnel
    Peeps
    Pencil Sketch
    Penelope Trunk
    Penguin Books
    Pen Name
    Penn And Teller
    Penn & Teller
    Pest Control
    Peter Cannon
    Phalaenopsis Orchid
    Phucket List
    P.I.
    Picton Bay South Lisand Pinot Noir
    Pillar Box Red
    Pillsbury Bake-Off
    Pillsbury Wine Company
    Pinewood Derby
    Pinyourbook.clom
    Portuguese
    Potty Putter Toilet Golf Game
    Powdered Milk
    Private Lessons
    Project Gutenberg
    ProWritingAid
    Proxima Books
    Pseudonym
    Psych
    Psychic
    Psycho Goreman
    Public Library
    Publishamerica
    Publisher's Weekly
    PUKE Dishware
    Purse
    Quick Rise And Shine Breakfasts
    Rachel Rising
    Rachel Ruiz
    Radish
    Ralph Daigh
    Rasputina
    Realbuzz.com
    Realbuzz Team
    Reklamproduktion
    Relentless
    Replica
    Rio
    Ripper Street
    Robert Underdunk Terwilliger
    Romance Novel
    Romance Writer
    Ron Goulart
    Ron Perlman
    Rosie Fletcher
    Roy Hinkley
    Rss Feed
    Runaway Bride
    Rune Reading
    Running Of The Gurds
    Ruth Handler
    Sable Grey
    Salem's Lot
    Santa Claus
    Savannah College Of Art And Design
    SCAD 2021
    Scamyououtofyourmoney.com
    Schitt's Creek
    Science Sleuth
    Scream For Jeeves
    Scrooge McDuck
    Self-publishing
    Sensualreads.com
    Sequels
    Serialized Fiction
    Sexy People
    SFWA
    Shaun Of The Dead
    Shortlist
    Shutterstock
    Sideshow Bob
    Sift Reviews
    Simon Maisch
    Sink Caddy
    Six Women Of Salem
    Sketch Drawing
    Sketch Editor
    Sketch Master
    Skottie Young
    Slate Magazine
    Slaxx
    Slow Burn
    SMEG Electric Kettle
    Snopes.com
    Soldier
    Something Evil
    Something Wicked
    Sometimes You Catch The Shark
    Southern Living Magazine
    Spangler Candy
    Spanish
    Sparkle271
    Spellbound By Books
    Splinter Of The Mind's Eye
    Spodomancy
    Spotify
    Spy
    Steampunk Bunny
    Stephen King
    Stephen King's Revival
    Steve Haynes
    Steve King
    Storage 24
    Strangers In Paradise
    Strangers In Paradise: Love Me Tender
    Stranger Things
    Strumpet
    Superblog
    Superfriends
    Supermoon
    Susan Ee
    Taco Barn
    Taiko Pumps
    Tailor
    Take Me To Your Leader
    Tapas
    Tarot Reading
    Tattoo
    Tavush
    Team Imon
    Team Inom
    Tears For Fears
    Tenderhooks
    Tenterhooks
    Terrible
    Terry Moore
    Thanks For The Ether
    Thar She Rolls
    The 100 Greatest Novels Of All Time
    The Atheist's Daughter
    The Awful
    The Best Things In Life Are Free
    The Black Bridge
    The Brady Bunch
    The Bride Of Chucky
    The Cabin In The Woods
    The Death Of A Policeman
    The Death Zone
    The Faust And The Furious
    The Fifth Brother
    The Getaway Car: A Donald Westlake Nonfiction Miscellany
    The Guild
    The Guns Of Will Sonnett
    The Hobbit Movies
    The Holy Trinity
    The Indian Express
    The Key To Rebecca
    The Land Of Painted Caves
    The Lego Movie
    The List Cafe
    The Little Dictator
    The Lovecraft Chronicles
    The Magicians
    The Ocean At The End Of The Lane
    Theodor Seuss Geisel
    The Old Man And The Sea
    The Powerpuff Girls
    The San Jose Mercury News
    The Seed Of Chucky
    The Shining
    The Slut In The Hut
    The Snail Trails
    The Sphinx Project
    The Stand
    The Summer We All Ran Away
    The Ten Word Game
    The White Whale
    The World's Best
    The World Swappers
    The Writing Life
    The Wrong Man
    Thighs Wide Apart
    Thor
    Thrift Books
    Tim Burton
    Tim Minchin
    Tina Louise
    Tinker
    Toilet Golf Game
    TokyoPop
    Tom Clancy
    Tom Cruise
    Tom Wolfe
    Topwit Electric Kettle
    Torchwood
    Train Diorama
    Trapped
    Tucker And Dale Vs Evil
    Tucson's Best Pizza
    T.v. Show
    Twilight
    Ulysses
    Uncertainty Principle
    Uncomplacent
    Unicorns
    Unsplash
    Vertigo
    Victorian Historical Romance
    Victorian Swear Words
    Victoria Strauss
    Vince Vaughn
    Vj Chambers
    Walt Disney
    Walter Brennan
    Wear-next.com
    WeatherBug
    WebMD
    Welburn Gourd Farm
    Werewolf Sex
    Western Romance
    What Is Amazon Author Central
    What We Do In The Shadows
    Which Superhero Character Are You?
    Which Supervillain Character Are You?
    Who's Your Favorite Supervillain?
    Wicked Games
    Will Arnett
    Willy Gilligan
    Woody Allen
    Word Hippo
    Word Loaf
    Worker Honey Bees
    World War Zayne
    Worst Self-marketing
    Wrinkles The Clown
    Writer Beware
    Writing A Successful Romance
    Writing Careers
    Wuertz Farm
    Wuertz Farm's 17th Annual Gourd Festival
    Xtranormal
    Yay!
    Young Adult
    Your Stripper Name
    Yours Truly
    Zarrowski
    Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance
    Zombeavers
    Zombieland
    Zombies

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.