And, now, we can put the mystery to rest.
You probably knew, but I didn’t, that Gilligan’s bucket hat has been all the rage, fashion-wise, for the last three years. How long before the Gilligan Shirt becomes a thing? If you didn’t realize it, the words that are underlined are clickable links. The first brings you to wear-next.com, where they talk about bucket hats as a fashion trend, and the second ferries you over to Amazon.com, where the seller pretends that their “Island Castaway Costume Shirt” isn’t the Gilligan Shirt. I receive no form of anything from anybody if you happen to click the links. I only provide them because they amuse me.
Not that you asked, but if my partner ever saunters into the house wearing a sexy grin, an Island Castaway Costume Shirt, and a bucket hat? He gets locked out of the bedroom.
In my final October blog of this year, I promised to share why all future posts would include some mention of the classic sitcom, Gilligan’s Island. Then, distracted by a family emergency, I failed to keep that promise the very next week. If you were paying close attention, you probably noticed that I failed to mention any classic sitcoms, much less write anything about the Skipper and his gang. Let me correct this oversight.
When I returned to regularly posting blogs here, I saw an uptick in website visitors. Not bunches – no one except me and thee read blogs these days – but some. Then, having written a post about Condom Girl, the weekly traffic to the site suddenly doubled. There are only so many blogs any one person can write about Condom Girl, however, so I didn’t return to the subject. It was a one-and-done and, during the weeks that followed, my number of website visitors returned to normal. They did, anyway, until I wrote about Lawrence Block and featured a prominent photo of his naughty novel, I Sell Love. Again, the very next week, my website traffic numbers doubled.
I had to see the results twice before I realized that sex sells. It shouldn’t have been a revelation. I did think, if I had provocative bits to include every time I posted, I could build an impressive audience for my two websites. I don’t have the energy for this. It feels too much like work.
You might be wondering what this has to do with the island castaways. It turns out, it isn’t only sex that draws a crowd. The first week in October, I used my website to discuss Gilligan’s Island and the “gotcha” ad lines that I had mistaken as news items. These are those “news” items, along with their subheadings:
You Might Be an Old Fart if You Still Do This We are sorry to tell you that these things were never cool.
Always Place a Crayon in Your Wallet When Traveling I was all set for my trip. That’s when my friend told me to place a crayon in my wallet when traveling.
Man Denies Female Soldier Her Seat in the Plane Once she sat down, things got even worse.
Once this went up, I had a record number of people dropping by the website. Even more than visited the sexy blog posts! At which point, I wrote that I’d be namedropping Gilligan every time I posted.
I didn’t keep that promise for even one week, and I decided that’s all right. If the website became really popular, I’d feel obligated to continue blogging past Post #52 (this is #39) and I’m not certain I care to do that.
But, this one final time, let me return to the island and used the last portion of “The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island” (lyrics by Sherwood Schwartz, music by George Wyle) to name all of the sitcom’s favorite characters:
With Gilligan: Full name, Willy Gilligan.
The Skipper, too: Full name, Jonas Grumby.
The millionaire: Full name, Thurston Howell III.
And his wife: Full name, Eunice "Lovey" Howell (née Wentworth).
The movie star: Full name, Ginger Grant.
The professor: Full name, Roy Hinkley, Jr.
And Mary Ann: Full name, Mary Ann Summers.
Here on Gilligan’s Isle!