Because you’re sane, your immediate thought is, “Oh, hell, no.” There’s no way to think it would taste good, right? Plus, people who prefer to keep living know better than to have a coal snack. So, you might wonder why Santa would put these nuggets of deadly into bad children’s stockings.
There are people – presumably, with out taste buds or too many brain cells – who’ve tasted anthracite coal, the stuff used for heating. Some claim it’s like holding a dirty rock in their mouths, while others say it tastes like a dirty rock that’s unpleasantly bitter with just a hint of sulfur to remind them to never, ever again taste coal.
This all comes to mind because one half of the Turner writing team put up a Krampus plate for the holiday season. Dollar Store black coal chunks felt like the perfect accessory because Krampus, as you know, has a reputation of focusing on ill-mannered children.
When the other half of the Turner writing team saw these black-wrapped candy nuggets, he wanted to eat one. A bag of these things costs a buck. There’s no way to think any of them would taste good, right?
There are people – presumably, with out taste buds or too many brain cells – who’ve tasted anthracite coal, the stuff used for heating. Some claim it’s like holding a dirty rock in their mouths, while others say it tastes like a dirty rock that’s unpleasantly bitter with just a hint of sulfur to remind them to never, ever again taste coal.
This all comes to mind because one half of the Turner writing team put up a Krampus plate for the holiday season. Dollar Store black coal chunks felt like the perfect accessory because Krampus, as you know, has a reputation of focusing on ill-mannered children.
When the other half of the Turner writing team saw these black-wrapped candy nuggets, he wanted to eat one. A bag of these things costs a buck. There’s no way to think any of them would taste good, right?
He unfoiled one, anyway. (Yes, unfoiled IS a word. It's been around since the late 1500s. Which is roughly as long as the male half of this team has been around.) He munched.
"Not bad," he said. "Tastes a little like a subpar Nestlé Crunch Bar."
He didn't mention any smell of sulfur, but he hasn't asked for seconds, either. Be warned.
"Not bad," he said. "Tastes a little like a subpar Nestlé Crunch Bar."
He didn't mention any smell of sulfur, but he hasn't asked for seconds, either. Be warned.
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